Am I The Butthole?

#1 · 08/31/2026, 5:48 AM

Quote from MicroHand on 08/31/2026, 5:48 AM
so i was out doing surveillance in my car for four hours again this morning. I had a 6am case so i had to get up at like 5am just to give myself enough time to get ready for my day. anyways, i kicked off my day with a pretty good breakfast, i decided i wanted to have the pancakes i got from dennys the night previous while i was out with my friends after a concert for holland oats.

Anyways, i finally got out to where i needed to be for the job, i aleady drove an 45 minutes to get there and i was already 15 minutes late from when i was suppoed to be there, no big deal. anyways. when i got out there i had that huge unsettling feeling in my stomach. i had to shit, like right then and there. i was completely out of options and had no time to drive anywhere. all i had in my car was my friends water bottle (40oz owala, if you know these, you know that lid has a huge opening) so i did what i had to do, i shit in his water bottle. worked out pretty good tbh.

once i got home i realized i had to clean my friends water bottle, the second i opened that thing i felt like spongebob in the "something smells" episode. it was incredibly bad. I proceeded to dump the shit out of the water bottle and got to cleaning, and when i say i cleaned that thing 5 times and it STILL smelled bad, i mean it smelled like REALLY bad. but it looked clean! i was sorta hoping my friend wouldnt ask for his water bottle back, and he didnt say anything for a couple days until today...

I gave him back the water bottle. lets just say i tried my best to say i lost it, but of course he didnt believe me, and plus i didnt want him to be mad at me for losing his water bottle so i just gave it back to him (yes, it still reeked completely of my shit). luckily he didnt open it when i gave it to him so the smell was completely locked down by the flip lid. i was in the clear... for now.

he texted me like 20 minutes ago and he was asking me why it smelled so bad, i folded under pressure and told him the truth. he was furious (to my surprise) i thought he would understand the situation i was in, but he just didnt care. i tried to text him again about 5 minutes ago and the blue text bubbles, turned into green text bubbles. he totally blocked me.

i am out of a friend now, and i dont even think i did anything that bad. Am i the butthole??

so i was out doing surveillance in my car for four hours again this morning. I had a 6am case so i had to get up at like 5am just to give myself enough time to get ready for my day. anyways, i kicked off my day with a pretty good breakfast, i decided i wanted to have the pancakes i got from dennys the night previous while i was out with my friends after a concert for holland oats.

Anyways, i finally got out to where i needed to be for the job, i aleady drove an 45 minutes to get there and i was already 15 minutes late from when i was suppoed to be there, no big deal. anyways. when i got out there i had that huge unsettling feeling in my stomach. i had to shit, like right then and there. i was completely out of options and had no time to drive anywhere. all i had in my car was my friends water bottle (40oz owala, if you know these, you know that lid has a huge opening) so i did what i had to do, i shit in his water bottle. worked out pretty good tbh.

once i got home i realized i had to clean my friends water bottle, the second i opened that thing i felt like spongebob in the "something smells" episode. it was incredibly bad. I proceeded to dump the shit out of the water bottle and got to cleaning, and when i say i cleaned that thing 5 times and it STILL smelled bad, i mean it smelled like REALLY bad. but it looked clean! i was sorta hoping my friend wouldnt ask for his water bottle back, and he didnt say anything for a couple days until today...

I gave him back the water bottle. lets just say i tried my best to say i lost it, but of course he didnt believe me, and plus i didnt want him to be mad at me for losing his water bottle so i just gave it back to him (yes, it still reeked completely of my shit). luckily he didnt open it when i gave it to him so the smell was completely locked down by the flip lid. i was in the clear... for now.

he texted me like 20 minutes ago and he was asking me why it smelled so bad, i folded under pressure and told him the truth. he was furious (to my surprise) i thought he would understand the situation i was in, but he just didnt care. i tried to text him again about 5 minutes ago and the blue text bubbles, turned into green text bubbles. he totally blocked me.

i am out of a friend now, and i dont even think i did anything that bad. Am i the butthole??

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#2 · 09/01/2026, 4:08 PM

Nah

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